Chapter 38

Allonsi… what are you doing? Red transmitted scathingly.

The startled starship suppressed the sensations associated with the memory she had uncovered and waited. She had been dabbling in these memories for a while, and hoped Red would just assume nothing had happened. Nothing, I’m just defragmenting my… brain. So I go over old memories and sort them.

I know you’ve been circling that memory for the past few days.

There’s nothing else to do! Allonsi confessed, I can’t move! My skids are sore… I don’t even know why – I didn’t get shot in the skids. I got shot in the hull. My entire body hurts and the memories help satiate the pain… sort of. Since the memory hurt too but it was a more pleasurable hurt. I didn’t think it would hurt that much. Why did it hurt that much? Was there—

Stop talking about my time with Mouse.

Will it hurt that much when I bond? I don’t like pain. I don’t like this pain either. Why won’t the pain leave? Make it leave!

Too much chlorax will hurt you. And you might get addicted. We need to follow the required doses.

Well then don’t judge me for immersing myself in the only pleasurable memory you seem to have! Allonsi was being irritable, and had her awareness retreat, trying to ignore the pain she was in.

Red tried to stow away the memory, but Allonsi grabbed at it, keeping it in her short term databanks. I don’t like that memory… Red admitted.

You don’t?

No. I was – it was… I don’t know. she was curled up on her bed, staring at a pillow.

Allonsi immediately felt the sadness associated with the memory as she recalled it. He was nice. There should be no regrets.

I scared him away. I scare everyone away.

I thought you were okay with that. So what if you scare everyone away! That’s no big deal—

So I’ll be alone forever?

No… you can get whoever you want!

But I can’t. I wanted him and I couldn’t get him. I can’t get anyone. I don’t know why I even bother. I should just stay here until I die. There’s nothing for me anyways. This life is so pointless.

Red was startled for a moment at the phantom stroke along the back of her neck. You know that’s not true. You’re just being gloomy. If anyone should be gloomy it should be me. You should talk to Hannah. I like it when you talk to Hannah. She is smart. Ask her if life is pointless.

So Red did.

“Well…” Hannah wasn’t sure where to start. “Life is…”

Red stared expectantly.

“…complicated.”

“Complicated?” Red asked.

“Yes, but not pointless. Think about it. Who would have thought I would be here, on a beemster, with you?”

“I’m not a beemster anymore!” Allonsi chirped. If she chirped, it meant the ship expected Red to translate whatever she said. Sometimes Red got away with ignoring her, but generally she was pretty adamant about getting her words across. Allonsi liked Hannah too.

“But what’s the point of being here?” Red asked.

“I get to learn about you space-Vorchans and your interesting domestic habits!” Hannah exclaimed.

“Why?”

“Because it interests me – I like doing it.” Hannah said.

“So the point of life is to do things you like to do?” Red asked.

“The point of life is whatever you want it to be.”

“So then if I believe there is no point then life would have no point?” Red asked.

“No, then the point would be that there is no point.” Hannah replied, avoiding Red’s trap.

“So then why live?” Red asked.

“Why die?” Hannah retorted.

“Why not?” Red asked.

“Red, there is a chance that you will never find a meaning to your existence, that it will be gloomy and depressing until the day you die. But there’s also a chance that you will find something that will make you grateful for every second. If you die, that chance – the chance of finding a meaning and a wonder to life – wouldn’t exist.”

“So the point of life is to find a point to life?” Red asked.

“I like that.” Hannah laughed.

“But if I find that the point is no point, then…”

“Then you should laugh at that and live life anyways!” Hannah replied. “Maybe you’ll find better points along the way.”

“Maybe.” Red replied, her tail scrunched into the couch as she subconsciously tried to impale it. “So what should I do?”

“You have all the necessities of life on a mobile home that could travel across the entire galaxy. You can do absolutely anything you want.”

“A lawn chair!” Nyx hissed exuberantly, staring at the tiny plastic object that had taken over their personal cliff that overlooked the beach. “On our cliff.”

“It’s not our cliff.” Fawkes crooned carefully. “These people pay for this area too.”

Nyx puffed and flew off, seemingly heading towards the resort administration building.

Fawkes sighed and sat down, sunning himself comfortably next to the lawn chair. It didn’t take long for him to hear rustling in the greenery that encircled their little cliff edge. And there the woman was, decently built and young, with black hair and a nice tan. She had a green, unzipped vest and a sleeveless t-shirt, with shorts. In her hand was what looked like an old blade of some sort. She stopped chopping at the greenery when she noticed the large Vorchan idly staring at her.

There was quite a bit of silence. Fawkes felt far too lazy to try and intimidate her in any way, and the woman seemed too stunned to really be much of a threat anyways, even with that blade in her hand.

“Oh come on now.” Fawkes growled, “I’m sure you’ve seen us here every day.”

She walked over carefully, sheathing her blade. Fawkes rolled on his other side, letting it roil in the sun for a little bit. He watched her sit down on the lawn chair out of his right eye. She was wearing a large hat to shade her from the rays, and slipped it over her eyes to keep the sun out.

“I like it here.” she said.

“I think my mate’s complaining about you.” Fawkes said politely. His face was being protected by the rays from a single stalk of grass which he sort of followed as it swayed in the wind. Later today that tactic would fail, though, and he would have to retreat to the shade by the tree to his left.

“Let her. The resort’s for everyone.” said the woman.

“That’s what I said.” Fawkes replied, closing his eyes.

“What’s your name?” she asked.

“Fawkes.” he replied, on his back now. He had opened his wings to let the webbing soak up some sunlight. The woman was staring at him.

“Nice wings.” she said.

“Thank you.”

“I wish I had wings.” she continued, looking out at the beach. “Maybe it’s why I climb up here every time I come.”

“How often have you been here?”

“Every year.” she said.

Fawkes nodded politely.

“I think it’s important to let the stresses of life go, at least once a year. To give yourself a break from all the… the…”

“Politics, deadlines, pressures?” Fawkes asked.

She nodded, closing her eyes.

Fawkes scanned for Nyx, a little worried about how she would react to this woman here, especially with the resort managers most likely having told her to screw off. But she still wasn’t around.

The climber laughed slightly, and took off her vest and belt, placing it all on the floor next to the lawn chair.  As she leaned back, the lawn chair contoured to her body, making her very comfortable.

“Is this your first time?” she asked.

“Here? Yes.” Fawkes replied. He stood up now, wondering where Nyx was.

“She’ll be back, I’m sure.” she said calmly.

“She’ll be pissed.” Fawkes replied.

“Aw well. You aren’t the first Vorchans to stake out this spot.” she said.

“Really?” Fawkes had thought they had been so creative.

“Every year, I meet a different Vorchan, or pair of them. Last year it was two blue ones… Aquas, I think… or Arctics? Something like that.”

“Well, Nyx is a Blackwing. They’re not as timid as Arctics.” Fawkes warned, “And I’m a Vulcan. We aren’t generally the friendliest either.”

“I’ve met a few Vulcans. You guys are fine. The girls can be strange. I’d be more worried if she was a Vulcan than a Blackwing.”

“You’ve met Blackwings?”

“No, not yet. I’ve heard of them though.”

“Well Nyx is quite the Blackwing, and she has a history that makes her exceptionally irritable, and unfriendly, so you should be careful.”

“Really? Irritable, how?”

“Well she has all these quirks, like she has these dominance issues, like –“

“Dominance issues?” Nyx growled. She had perched on the edge of the cliff silently while Fawkes had been running his snout off.

The woman looked away, closing her eyes with a smile.

“Well I meant—”

“Issues?!” Nyx had that red-eyed glare again, and seemed ready to tackle him, but he was already lying on the ground, which meant all she could suffice with was an imposing loom. “What kind of issues?”

“Nothing, I was just trying to make you look intimidating to the lady.” Fawkes said carefully.

“Really? Was that it, then?”

“I swear, yes.” Fawkes nodded diplomatically, trying to give her the most pitiful look he could muster.

“The lady, who is this lady, anyways?” Nyx asked.

“She never told me her name.” Fawkes said.

“I’m Issabella.” she said with a smile, her eyes still closed.

“Well, Issabella. This is our spot, we were here first!”

“Free cliff.” she replied.

“Free fall, if you don’t leave!” Nyx snarled.

“Not leaving.” she replied calmly.

Nyx snorted, smoke emitting from her nostrils, her eyes seemed to almost burn red. Fawkes was worried for Issabella’s life as Nyx began advancing towards her.

“Calm down now, Nyx.” Fawkes said, getting up and nuzzling her quickly, trying to get her attention away from the woman.

Nyx ignored Fawkes attempts, and stood in front of Issabella, tail swept back, talons showing, fangs out and wet as she snarled. “LEAVE.”

Issabella didn’t even flinch, nearly asleep on that comfortable lawn chair. She must have had a lot of Vorchans try and get her off this perch.

“Let it go, Nyx. We could go somewhere else.” Fawkes offered, tugging at her tail. It whiplashed back at him in fury.

“This isn’t the end! We were here first!” she scowled, flying off again.

Fawkes’ heart had been racing, and he sat down, taking a deep breath. “You’re very calm.”

“Thanks.” replied Issabella. “You’re a nice mate.”

“I try.”

“Too bad she isn’t too reciprocative.”

“What do you mean?” Fawkes asked.

“Well she doesn’t seem to care too much for you.”

“What?”

“A lot of Vorchan couples that come here have that romantic fervour in their eyes, but all she seems to have is rage and annoyance. I don’t like the way she just flicked you off like that.”

“She’s fine. She’s Nyx – it’s the way she is.” Fawkes said in his mate’s defence. “And she’s a better mate than any I’ve ever had. She’s amazing, and loyal, and strong, and affectionate, even if she doesn’t show it sometimes, like with you around.”

“Hmm.” Issabella nodded. “How many mates have you had?”

“Err…” Fawkes shied away from that topic, “A few.”

“I doubt it. It’s generally the first relationship that’s like this.”

“Like what?” Fawkes asked.

“Well, with one being very understanding and forgiving, and the other exploiting that one’s goodwill.”

“She’s not exploiting! We have several children – dozens! And we have a beautiful planet, and – and everything. We’re fine.” Fawkes said, trying to remain calm.

“That must be nice.” Issabella said.

“It is. It’s great. I wish Nyx would stop being angry so you could get to know her better. She’s such a great Vorchan.”

“She doesn’t seem that nice.” Issabella said passively.

“She is!”

Issabella didn’t say anything, closing her eyes. Fawkes scanned quickly for Nyx. She still hadn’t returned. “We were very comfortable up here.” Fawkes muttered, lying down again, more agitated this time. The commotion had made him long for Nyx.

“Well, there’s nothing to keep the two of you from getting comfortable.” Issabella said. “And there’s other cliffs, farther off.”

“But the server bots don’t go that far.” Fawkes complained. “This is the only cliff in the resort’s range!”

“Well… then I guess you’ll have to just… deal with it.” Issabella yawned, closing her eyes again.

Fawkes trotted over to her, and carefully put a paw underneath her lawn chair.

Flick

Issabella went flying into the greenery with a yelp. Fawkes snickered amusedly and lied back down.

She arrived a few minutes later, covered in cuts and bruises. Fawkes pretended to ignore her, lying comfortably on his paws with his tail curled before him. He listened to her right the lawn chair and lie back down.

Fawkes awoke a few hours later to Nyx arguing with Issabella. “Well I think the policy should be that the first person to arrive in an area should claim some ownership over the place. I mean we’re a couple. It’s very rude to have someone just barge in on our little spot.”

“Right, but you barged in on my spot.” Issabella replied.

“It’s not your spot!” Nyx said. Her growls were more high-pitched, and her eyes were pleading. She didn’t seem to be getting anywhere, and was getting tired of it.

Issabella took a deep breath, steadying her hat and rubbing one of her elbows. She responded with a pithy, “It is.” which sent Nyx on a treacherous tangent of swears and threats.

Fawkes knew what could fix this. He snuck over to Nyx, and tackled her into the greenery. She struggled viciously, but Fawkes eventually had her pinned down enough to start being pleasing.

“It’s not fair…” Nyx sighed, tired after their session.

They both fell asleep in the grass.

Nyx had become less aggressive after that, and finally gave in to Issabella having the cliff-side, so long as she kept the shrubbery intact for their privacy. It was a fair arrangement, and in no time the three of them were tolerant and trading stories with each other.

It turned out Issabella was a neural artist. She had an interface that took snapshots of moments, which she then spruced up and sold over GalNet. She had been all over the Galaxy, and owned many amazing shots of all sorts of creatures and places. Nyx was slightly annoyed at the fact that all her attempts at trying to get rid of Issabella were framed and recorded for those wishing to experience the terror of being confronted by a Vorchan.

Issabella gave them her datapal ID, and told them to get in touch with her if they were ever interested in modeling.

I can’t jump… Allonsi growled.

Why? Red asked, perplexed.

“What’s wrong?” Hannah asked. She had noticed Red’s expression change while they had been talking.

“Allonsi—“ Don’t tell her! the ship hissed.

Why?

It’s… embarrassing.

Why is not being able to jump embarrassing?

I’m a Beems – a Puritan! There’s very few things I’m good at. One of them is supposed to be jumping!

I’m sure you’re good at a lot of things, Allonsi.

Like what.

Well…

Red couldn’t come up with anything off the top of her head, so she decided to speak with Hannah about Vorchans while Allonsi tried to overcome her sudden bout of performance anxiety.

It’s not performance anxiety. Allonsi growled.

“What do you mean you can’t leave yet?” asked the hostess.

“Well… I know this will sound strange. But our transport can’t get here.” Fawkes replied meekly.

Don’t tell her I can’t jump! Flames hissed.

Why?

It’s embarrassing!

“Where is your transport, then?” asked the hostess.

“Well it’s a he – Descendent. You must have seen him when we got dropped off? Kilometre or so long, bit under maybe – big skids? Red? Yeah well he can’t jump. Typical, you know, with Descendents, being all horrible at performing when needed. He is anyways, dunno about other Descendents.” Fawkes said with a smile.

You are so mean. Flames sighed, trying to trigger his jump drive, moving his skids in every possible direction to try and get a spark to jump.

Well stop being a little beemster and jump already. You’ve only done it a million times. We can’t book another week just like that. There’s reservations and things in the real world, Flames.

Doesn’t work. Flames transmitted. Can’t even bring up the nodescape.

Fawkes tried to bring up the nodescape, the navigational chart that showed every destination his Beems could reach as motes with brightness based on koveran signature. It was blank, completely blank.

Must be a glitch. Fawkes transmitted worriedly, checking the integrity of the neural link. We can still talk. That’s something.

For now. Maybe I’m sick. What if I’m sick?

Then I sell you before they realize you’re useless! Fawkes quipped.

I don’t know why I like you sometimes. Flames mused.

You like me? Fawkes asked in feigned surprise.

No response.

You’re still there, right? The neural link hasn’t failed yet?

It hasn’t, unfortunately. Flames growled.

“Can’t jump?” asked the hostess. Less than a second had passed in real time.

“Nope. Useless ship.”

“I’ve heard many excuses for trying to extend one’s stay at a resort, but a Descendent not being able to jump is a new one.” there was a pause as she thought about what to do with these customers. “Well I can get a shuttle to transport you off the resort premises. You’ll find this planet expensive but well worth the trouble. Just don’t go out at night, well, actually the reverse would go for you two.” she stabbed.

“Right, thanks.” Fawkes said with a melodramatic smile.

Nightmares. She had come up with a very complicated story involving cycles and Lagrange points and black matter. Why did that matter right now? That story she’d come up with, to try and convince Hannah without telling her that Allonsi was incapable of jumping.

A nodescape. She was standing in one, staring at it. Formless. It began to condense and condense until it was nothing more than a tiny sphere.

She awoke. They had moved. Allonsi was aware of it, just waking. Panic and anxiety took over the ship as she tried to jump clear of this space. This space that didn’t make sense. The stars weren’t in alignment, and the planets were too big, and they were in strange locations, unbelievable locations. There was one right before them, bright and blue and shiny, with no sun in sight. The entire starscape around the planet seemed pitch black. The aura of darkness emanated several thousand kilometres before revealing the stars that were trying to force their light through the darkness.

Allonsi moved quickly, trying to move past the planet to see the sun that must be behind, but realized she couldn’t warp space the way she had before. Her speed was limited to below that of light. It was terrifying: Wanting to move and barely seeing the planet respond.

Where are we? Red asked.

GalNet was reporting a crisis. The nodescape had collapsed. Supply lines had been completely shut down.  Even the warp fields didn’t work, making any attempts at flying past the speed of light impossible.

He was taking a swig at the spaceport they had been fortunate enough to be docked at when the crisis happened. Violet had shut down immediately, realizing the koveran field had been compromised and conserving what energy she could until Joshua found an alternate supply of energy for her. Without the nodescape, the Beems needed energy from realspace, but the only time they had ever needed it like that had been as beemsters, and they weren’t beemsters anymore. Joshua wasn’t sure how the population would survive, and he felt like it was his fault, somehow, like he should be able to come up with a solution. Violet had asked him to come up with a solution. A dying wish, he thought cynically.

So here he was, doing what most people did when tasked beyond capacity: Drinking. Violet was his home, and he couldn’t stand to see her shut down, dying.

 

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